How do you wipe?

lien · Post by **lien** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:09 pm

After having a shite?

Beagle · Post by **Beagle** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:16 pm

bored yeah?

Ric · Post by **Ric** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:19 pm

I call for my Groom of the Stool.

ian saunders · Post by **ian saunders** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 8:22 pm

Real men don't

lien · Post by **lien** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:27 pm

Beagle wrote:bored yeah?

Nope... Interested in people's arse wiping habits!!!

Sir Captinweestain · Post by **Sir Captinweestain** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:08 am

Tissue you dirty bastard.

Post by **Matt Clarke** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:11 am

Sir Captinweestain wrote:Tissue you dirty bastard.

LOL

dj jedi · Post by **dj jedi** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:14 am

I wish I still had a bday, used to love the one at home

ian saunders · Post by **ian saunders** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:58 am

dj jedi wrote:I wish I still had a bday, used to love the one at home

Did you actually use it though? Every house i've been in with a bidet i've always asked and they've said that they can't be arsed (excuse the pun).

I expect it's a lot fresher than getting some paper and rubbing your bumhole.

Seriously with all the technological advances in our time why are we still rubbing are asses with mashed up bits of paper???????? WHY!!!

dj jedi · Post by **dj jedi** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:33 am

I did used to use it! Like you say way more hygenic than paper. Only practical if you have a towel to hand though.

In Malaysia they have little hoses next to every toilet, and a drain on the floor. Nice idea if 1) anybody ever cleaned the toilets and 2) there was ever a towel!

ian saunders · Post by **ian saunders** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:05 pm

dj jedi wrote:I did used to use it! Like you say way more hygenic than paper. Only practical if you have a towel to hand though.

In Malaysia they have little hoses next to every toilet, and a drain on the floor. Nice idea if 1) anybody ever cleaned the toilets and 2) there was ever a towel!

I don't know, i think i'd be a bit paranoid as to whether the water had got everything away - whereas with loo roll i suppose you can do regular progress checks during the wiping stage.

fannypad · Post by **fannypad** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:49 pm

Three seashells.

Last time I went to Kiev with the ex we stayed in some monolithic executive 5-star hospitality emporium and I blagged an upgrade to the presidential suite or some shit. It came with a Japanese cyber bog which, when activated via an indecipherable touch panel, schpritzed then delicately wafted your freshly-cleansed clammy battycrease through a series of infrared-guided motorised probosci.

It was the most sensual sphincter sensation I've ever experienced, save for the time I fell arse-first onto a crate of vaporub inhaler sticks.

warpedcore · Post by **warpedcore** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:53 pm

i leave it to go crusty then pick off later on when bored

Thrash · Post by **Thrash** » Thu Sep 22, 2011 3:22 am

Tokyo Techno Toilets are quality.... The higher up in society you are over there, the more buttons you have on your bog! Last time I was over there, I set the spray to full blast to see how far it would reach.... Not the best idea as it sprayed right out the bathroom door & soaked the carpet! :)

It's not as simple as sounds either as the seats have a pressure sensor so I had to hold the seat down with one hand (I wasn't having a shit) whilst hitting the buttons with the other....

Anyway... I voted for standing up innit....

squatski · Post by **squatski** » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:44 pm

I think the real question should be, do you have a look before you flush and think to your self 'yeah! I'm really proud of that turd'

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