check out this leaving note from an employee of JPMorgan....

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lentrix
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check out this leaving note from an employee of JPMorgan....

Post by lentrix » Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:36 pm

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the moral of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

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lien
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Re: check out this leaving note from an employee of JPMorgan....

Post by lien » Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:13 pm

Class...... I've already told the people I work with "I regard you all as people I once meet". Rimmer from Red Dwarf, said some thing like that & its kinda stuck with me ever since I heard it. So true :)

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Re: check out this leaving note from an employee of JPMorgan....

Post by alex » Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:07 am

i wrote an old boss a long letter once, explaining how he was hated by everyone, and that we all laughed at his bullshit.

I did keep it, but i think i may haver lost it. It really was a rant of the highest proportions, and was so satisfying sendin it to him ! :)

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Re: check out this leaving note from an employee of JPMorgan....

Post by esq » Mon Jul 02, 2007 9:42 am

alex wrote:i wrote an old boss a long letter once, explaining how he was hated by everyone, and that we all laughed at his bullshit.

I did keep it, but i think i may haver lost it. It really was a rant of the highest proportions, and was so satisfying sendin it to him ! :)
:lol:

I had a boss once that was friendly to your face but an utter dick behind your back, altho for some reason he'd taken a shine to me. When I was laid off, he invited me to to drinks across the street. I accepted, knowing that with this guy there was always an ulterior motive. Sure enough, shortly after we get there, his questions begin... I started telling him (at his request!) what the other co-workers did outside of work. He kept asking me for more, so I spent the better part of two hours getting drunk on his dime and making up the most outrageous bullshit you can imagine about each of our coworkers- that one was pregnant with another one's baby, two of the ladies that liked to have gay encounters in the office afterhours, one had confessed to me during a drinking session that he thinks he killed an entire family and left them for dead in a nighttime cocaine-fuelled roadside hit-and-run accident back in the eighties, etc.

Eventually he steered the conversation toward his original goal- finding out what they thought of him. I 'confessed' to him about all the times coworkers had told me about what they'd done to him - the different ways his coffee had been tampered with, how everything on his desk had been teabagged regularly by the sweaty guy he'd recently fired, the daily stinkpalms on his car door handle from one of the now-departed techs he'd belittled in front of the whole company, how his old secretary spent three days sneezing flu germs on his keyboard when he wouldn't let her call in because he wanted to take a vacation day, a group of people taking turns spitting into his food once they figured out which lunchbag was his- none of it true, but I like to think he went back to the office the next day a changed man...


I fukkin hate gossips. :badgrin:

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